Be the Lighthouse | July 2026

July 16, 2026

Dear Friends,
I came across a post recently that spoke to me that I wanted to share with all of you. It resonated with me because this is something that I struggle with in both my personal and professional life. Maybe it resonates with you too?
This was a post from Jay Jay Douglas, a certified life coach …
“There's a theory that I learned the hard way, unfortunately. It's called the “lighthouse principle”, even though nobody teaches it like this. A lighthouse doesn't chase ships. It doesn't scream. It doesn't move. It just stands where it's built to stand and shine. And here's the part that messed me up. Ships that need direction will find it. Ships that don't care will crash somewhere else.
For a long time I wasn't a lighthouse. I was a rescue boat. I chased people in storms that they kept choosing. I explained myself to people who already decided not to understand. I over gave to prove I was worthy of staying and every time I did that I thought I was being loving, understanding and loyal. But what I was doing was abandoning my post.
See there's another theory that nobody talks about: The more available you make yourself to people who aren't anchored, the more they confuse access with value. They don't love the light. They love the convenience. So when I finally stopped chasing, when I finally stopped overextending, when I finally stayed still in who I was becoming, something uncomfortable happened. Some people drifted away. And at first that felt like failure, like loss, like rejection until I realized something powerful; The people who disappeared weren't rejecting me. They just never came for me in the first place. They came for the rescue and the moment I stopped rescuing, the truth showed up.
You don't lose people when you grow. You lose roles. You lose the role of fixer. You lose the role of savior, the role of emotional supplier and when those roles fall away, only real connection remains. That's when your life gets quieter, cleaner, sweeter, more aligned because the right people don't need you exhausted to stay. They don't need you over giving to feel close. They don't need you shrinking to feel secure. They're drawn to who you are, not what you provide.
So, if you're in a season where people are drifting, where things feel lonely, where you're questioning if choosing yourself was worth it, hear me clearly: You're not losing your way; you're finally standing in it. Stop chasing ships. Be the lighthouse. The ones meant to find you, will.”

Standing in the Light,
Rica